Workouts in a Nutshell

    On to the strictly physical. Okay, nothing is ever strictly physical. In reality, the more physical it becomes, by nature, the more mental and spiritual it becomes as well. You cannot push Body hard without the assistance and prodding of Brain and Heart. It must be a combined effort, or you are destined to fail. I have discovered a near sado-masochistic core to my Self. I revel in that feeling of pushing Body to the point of nausea, trembling fatigue and exhaustion. I enjoy it on a visceral level, far deeper than rational mind will take me. For in reality, just how rational is it to want to push yourself beyond the "normal' bounds of physical trials? Most people would look upon such endeavors with that knowing smirk that plainly says, "yes, I admire your effort, maybe envy your feats a tiny bit, but mostly I think you are totally Fruitloops." I have seen that look all too many times, the skeptical lip twitch, the scornful eyebrow lift, the glint of suspicion in the eye. Oh yes, I have seen it, many times. Granted, not always in response to physical endeavors, often enough I see it because I really am a bit of a Lunatic, and there are definitely days when it cannot be kept hidden and I wear it like a rumpled suit.
    Enough of the ramblings of the lunacy in what we do for the sheer sake of proving a point, whether to ourselves, others, or to just throw it out into the world that, "I have picked myself up, dusted myself off again, and am going to continue working as hard as possible for a goal."
    This last week has been interesting in my workout and nutrition Universe of One. For starters, my gastrointestinal system really isn't cutting me much slack, dairy is still the recent attacker to cause my body to betray me. This has made me search for any means to get enough protein and calories into my system, especially pre and post workout. A lot of foods aren't setting too well with me so it has been trial and error, with way too many errors. Oddly, the one food that has no side effect is the venison jerky I made last year, but the supply is limited. I'm trying to not overload on carbs but am having a tough time filling the void left by dairy. The search continues.
    The highlights of my workout week include an open water swim in Hagg lake with coach, after watching a Triathlon up close and personal. I loved the swim, and it cast aside any concerns I might have about panicking in open water. Later in the day we cycled together for the first time. I admit, I was pushing myself a bit, thinking he was scrutinizing my every move. But he said I am a strong, solid cyclist and will have no problem with any cycling route that gets thrown at me. Another anxiety dropped from the list.
    Monday I focused on running, my weak link. I ran 3.25 miles (on the treadmill, don't tell Coach) with only 3 very short walking sections. I need to get my running up to par, the sooner the better, so much of my energy through the coming few weeks will be focused in that direction.
    I did have an absolutely epic swim on tuesday. I wanted to increase my nonstop laps from the 15 of last week to 20. The first few warmup laps I felt like I was floundering, so did not count them in. I managed 19, mixing up different strokes crawl, backstroke, sidestroke, kind of overthinking the whole process, trying too hard to be "just right," focusing too much on my breathing. Then suddenly, Lap 20, I hit my stride. My breathing settled in, my crawl became easy and relaxed. Everything seemed to click into place. Not wanting to quit until I established a little muscle memory I did another 15 laps nonstop, crawl only. I felt like a machine. No, I am not a speedy swimmer, but I am becoming a strong swimmer. That is what I want. I want strength now, speed later. Tonight I swim again, and I am really looking forward to moving through the cooling waters.
    Last night was my Firefighter's Physical Agility Test, a big step towards becoming a volunteer firefighter. I had gone to the previous practice sessions so I knew what was coming. I did very well, although the 125lb hose drag just about did me in and required every bit of strength and stamina I could muster to drag that sonofabitch 100 feet across the hot asphalt in heavy jacket, helmet, gloves and 30lb pack. But I did it, and am proud of myself. Afterwards, I was still so keyed up I ran for 30 minutes in the streets of Silverton, all hills (it is a hilly little town). My breathing felt good, but my pace was slower than I want, and my calves really started to burn. But again, I will be focusing the bulk of my energies into running over the next few weeks, and on into infinity.
    That is my week in a nutshell. Kind of kicking my ass, but wishing I had more time to kick even harder. I want to train more, but don't want to overtrain either. Walking the fine line. Now if I can just manage to eat without discomfort. Oh well, there is always venison jerky.