Playing Catch-up

    I am feeling a tad guilty for not keeping up with my writings these last few months. It is reflective of my life, which seems so chaotic and busy that I feel as if I am always playing catch-up. My workouts have been a bit shorter, and somewhat sporadic of late, at least in comparison to the months leading up to my 70.3, although I have been ramping up the intensity. I have yet to do any running, I can't seem to muster much enthusiasm in that discipline, though I know that is where I need to really focus my energies. Instead I have been cycling at least an hour daily, and putting in two very focused swim sessions a week. I am also increasing my strength training considerably.
    I have changed things up with my cycling. Before my 70.3 my main focus was the long, steady state ride, with quick cadence, and easy gearing. Training my body in the I-can-do-this-all-day pace, which was exactly what I needed pre-race. Now I am working to add speed and power to my cycling. instead of maintaining a 90-95 rpm for the duration of the ride, I am adding power bursts, and slower, harder gear cycling. Power bursts are kinda my favorite right now, but are hard on the knees so I am limiting myself to twice a week. Basically, a power burst is going from a dead stop to 85-95 rpm in the hardest gear, and holding the pace for about 20 seconds, repeat 10X, then cycle at high cadence, easy gearing for 2 minutes. Doesn't sound like much, does it? But holymotherofthegods, it is a bit of an ass kicker. I am also doing some slower cadence, harder gear power hours. Yes, I am still doing high cadence riding, but by mixing in the harder work I should be building my power and speed, as well as my endurance. Add to this some very solid leg work geared specifically for cycling and running, and my legs and glutes are getting beat into shape. Now, if I could just have the same passion for running as I do for cycling...
    It is hard to really change things up in the pool, but I have found a few ways to spice it up a bit. I admit, I really miss swimming in The Cove. I miss the cool, green water, the solitude, the quiet, the ability to swim non-stop for as long as I have daylight. But I will have to wait about 8 months before I can return. I have been working at doing long swims at race pace, and even slightly faster. I try to swim as fast as I can while still maintaining good form. The best way to know if I am using good form? I hold my breath and see how much noise I am making. I love that all I hear is a soft, wet sigh as my hand and arm enter the water. I make almost no noise when I swim, and the only splash I make is at the end of my stroke as I push all the way through my stroke, past my thigh, and flip a little water out behind me. Another drill I have added is The Personal Medley. This entails adding backstoke and breaststroke laps throughout my swim. Yes, for a true medley I would do butterfly as well, but I can't quite get myself to make that big of a fool of myself.
    Last night, I didn't get to swim because all the lanes were full of children taking swim lessons, so I did a good 60 minutes on the bike, with 10 power burst sets, and followed up with 30 minutes of core and hip work. This morning I was on the bike (in the living room) by 6:00am. I did 50 minutes, varying gearing and cadence. I followed with 20 minutes of leg work targeting glutes and calves. Tonight, we had the night off from drill at the station so I got in a solid 90 minute upper body workout, targeting all my swim muscles. I think my triceps and trapezius are going to be whiny tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I will be on the bike, and hopefully at the pool in the evening.
    Life has been rather unpredictable of late, so I am trying to get in a morning workout whenever possible, just in case my evening gets rerouted. It has been working for me so far, most mornings, and I need to turn it into habitual behavior. That is how my last few weeks have been, bike like a fiend as often as possible, and swim hard whenever I can manage. Soon, I hope to be mountain biking, to add to the fun. And that opens a whole world of possibilities, including off-road triathlons. So who knows what the future holds, but it will be a lot of hard work, and even more fun. Now, time for the one thing that I am always short of: sleep.
   

No Time For Slacking

    What a difference a day or two makes. I am feeling back on track with my workouts and my nutrition. It is so easy to stray off the path, especially at this time of year, when my spirits are inclined to tilt towards melancholy. But it is a self perpetuating cycle, one that can spiral out of control rapidly. Slack on the workouts for a day or two and consume too much sugar, and I start to feel blue and slovenly, which makes me inclined to want to slack on my workouts and eat too much sugar, and so it goes. But I see the pitfall. I see and understand the behaviors, the cause and effect. I understand myself and my body. I have been very aware of the correlation between exercise and depression prevention. It is something I have been acutely aware of for over a decade. I have always made it a solid point to have my workout regime solidly in place before the beginning of September, because that is when things start to unravel. Years ago, depression would catch me off guard, unawares. It would start innocently enough with an autumn cold, a bug I just couldn't seem to shake, and it would take me down for weeks on end. In reality, the virus only lasted a week or so, but the lassitude it caused would linger on, an innocuous segue into winter depression, which usually brought about winter weight gain as well. The lassitude and weight gain always made me feel like I lacked self-control, and I would internalize a certain amount of anger and resentment, aimed at myself, which just compounded the depression. Or the depression compounded the anger and resentment. Chicken or egg, really. The long and short of it is that I understand it, I understand it better now than I did even two years ago. I have to. My winter vacation in The Abyss taught me more about myself, my demons, my depression, and my strength, than anything I could have learned from any outside source. It taught me that when I feel the first tugging of that downward spiral I need to act and react immediately. I have to be able to step up, take control, lead myself back onto the path.
    Some may say I am a control freak. Maybe so. But I know myself, I know myself very well, and I know how easily depression can sneak up, slip in unawares, and take hold with a death defying grip. I also know exactly what it takes to keep me happy, healthy, and moving forward with life. It is not a huge secret. It is not even complicated. It boils down to this: Workout with diligence, eat wholesome foods with a passion, keep Body and Brain occupied and strong. It is a very simple formula.
    To this end, I am back to being an Accidental Vegetarian, eating massive amounts of leafy greens, baking and consuming vast quantities of my Roasted Winter Veg dish (see deasalcooks.blogspot.com), and avoiding processed anything. I have also kicked my workouts up a gear or two. Last night I cycled for an hour, doing 10 sets of Power Bursts (drop to lowest gear, pedal hard up to 85-90 rpm for about 20 seconds, then switch to normal gear and pedal for 2 minutes), and 40 minutes of core work. Tonight I hit the treadmill for the first time in a very long time. I haven't really ran since my 70.3, so I didn't want to over do it. I ran easy for a bit to warm up, then upped it to just above my 10K pace for 5 minutes. Then I alternated: 5 minutes of 10K pace, one circuit of upper body strength training, for 3 sets.
    It is now officially my "Off Season," time to start building strength and speed now, then I will add endurance in a few months. So, sprints (in all three disciplines),  power bursts, interval training, CrossFit, weight training, and Yoga will be the standard M.O. for the next few months, to get me through the holidays and into the dead of winter. Come January/February I will start building my endurance. I am looking at The Pacific Crest Long Course Tri in June for my first major event, another 70.3. But I am eyeing a few half marathons, and 25K trail runs before then. There is no time to slack, to take time off for melancholy. There is work to be done, events to prepare for, life to chase after, fun to be had. No time for slacking.

Slacker

    I have to admit, I am feeling a bit shitty about myself today. Today, I ate too much sugar, too much wheat, dropped my control, overate in a way I haven't done in a very long time. I feel glutted, sickly, unhealthy. Lately I have not been eating right, not working out with my regular diligence, have put on a few pounds, and have just felt "off" for a couple of weeks. Yes, I have had this bitch of a cold that has given me just enough of an excuse to let myself slack, but I feel that it really is just an excuse. Yes, I did complete a major endurance event just a month ago, and I have been told often enough that it can truly take 4 to 6 weeks to recover from such an endeavor. But, you know what? I call bullshit. I have been slacking, I have let my nutritional habits falter, I have let workouts slide, I am letting myself succumb to the onset of winter depression. I can't let it happen, not now, not when everything is going so well. Not when I have worked so hard to get where I am. I have been struggling to get back on track, but my focus is lost. I don't have the same drive that I needed to get myself through a summer of rigorous training to prep for The Big One. Here I am, no serious events on the horizon, nothing to drive my training. I am lost and wandering in circles, and starting to get pissed that I can't find my way. I know that right now, this very moment, I am tired, on a sugar buzz, feeling overemotional, out of balance, edgy, and drained, and very likely this is making me also be very harsh and judgmental. I am my harshest critic, and toughest coach, after all. I would love to be able to relinquish control, let myself relax, slack, take a vacation from me, but I can't. I know that I need to find an event in the not too distant future to set my sights on. I do have a few smaller events lined up in the next few months, but they are my "just for fun" adventure races. Don't let that fool you, they are not easy runs. Shellburg Falls is a 7 mile trail run with some of the steepest terrain I have encountered on a trail run, with one long stretch that is steep enough it requires hands and feet to climb. But it is not an endurance event. I yearn for another 70.3 mile encounter. I want to try 140.6. I am an addict going through withdrawls and depression. I want a fix. I need a fix. Instead I see the oncoming onslaught of winter, rain tapping on the window, wind ripping leaves from the trees, shorter days, longer nights, cold, wet, grey. I need to snap out of it, grab myself by the lapels and give myself a couple of sharp slaps. I need to be held accountable for my actions, or lack thereof. I can tell you one thing for certain, as a self-coached athlete, my coach can be a real bitch, and she is already pissed at me. Time to get my head back in the game.

Struggling

   I have realized that I am really struggling with the post season blues. Not only am I supposed to allow myself to back off on the training a bit, but I have no events on the calendar to look forward to either. I want to be training as hard as I was back in July and August. I want to be spending the bulk of what little free time I have training, doing double workouts, draining myself with cycling/running bricks. I know I am supposed to take a little down time, change up my workouts, cross train. I am good with the cross training, I do that anyway, but I want to go out on a 50 mile bike ride followed by a run.  I want to put on my Selkie suit and swim long laps in the emerald green water of The Cove, with the afternoon sun glittering on the water through the pines. I want to swim until I am shaky, exhausted, and ravenous.
    Yes, I am swimming laps at the pool. Swimming upwards of 1-1/2 to 2 miles a couple of times a week. But it is the pool, 25 yards and turn, 25 yards and turn. Over and over. As Lance Armstrong said, "The problem with lap swimming is that after the first 50 yards, you've seen the whole course." I do enjoy the hypnotic quality of lap swimming, and am more likely to add sprints, apoxic sets, and fin work, but I miss the freedom of open water.
    Yes, I am on my bike, on the trainer in the living room, pedaling like a freak until the sweat is rolling off of me in waves. I am doing power sets, sprint sets, and steady state aerobic rides. And following it with leg and core workouts until I am trembling. But I miss the freedom of the road.
    I can't yet bring myself to get on the treadmill. The monotony would be more than I can bear. I need to get out on trails and run through the woods. I need to have hills so steep I have to climb them with hands and feet. I want to scramble up rock faces, clamber over logs, jump or wade creeks. I miss the freedom of trail running.
    That is the crux, I am missing the freedom that is so easily found on long, summer days. As we head into winter the sun sets so early it is impossible to get out into the great wide open after work. I have yet to mentally adjust to the cold and rain, the shortening days. I know I will, I have to, it will be another 6 months or more before the sun is a regular companion. I need to retrain myself to enjoy the rain on my face. I can't surrender to the grey of winter.
    But the one thing that saves me from surrendering to the dark is a training schedule. I need to get my calendar out, start planning my next adventures, give myself targets to aim at, goals to reach for, dreams to dream. I need to get back to training hard, one way or another.