My final visit to the gym and pool for 2014 was a bit lackadaisical. I did a good leg workout, but skipped all but 10 minutes on the elliptical. Then I hit the pool and realized just how tired and sore my upper body was. Normally it only takes about 10 laps to warm up, 20 at the most. Tuesday I swam 45 laps and never did lose the soreness in my arms and shoulders. To make it a bit easier on my body I did slow down and work on form. I am trying to have a more solid grab and pull, and keep my elbows higher, but it is tiring to tweak form. The whole time I swam all I could think of was how much I wanted to just be sitting in the hot tub. My realization during all this was that I had reached that point so often talked about: Burnout. Not hardcore, more subtle than expected, but burnout nonetheless. Now I am struggling with the idea of taking a few more days off from swimming, which I hate the thought of. Or should I hit the pool later today for a short, focused swim?
(Insert a little back story here) January 31st was my last day of work. My department was closed permanently. I was told nearly two months ago that we were getting closed down, and I thought I was emotionally prepared for the reality of it. But these last few weeks have held more than a twinge of depression and sadness. I am in mourning for a job that I really enjoyed, even as I look forward to having some freedom to lead a more productive life for a while. Part of me is whooping it up at the thought of being able to train like a professional athlete this season, even though money will be tight. Also, my grandmother passed away on the 30th, quietly, in her own home. It was expected, and in some ways a relief for her, but that doesn't make the loss any less poignant. Also, this last weekend my son and his family moved out. They had been staying with me for a bit while they were getting back on their feet after moving back from the east coast. Yes, it was crowded and chaotic, but I got to know his family better, and his step-children got to know me too. Now the house seems achingly quiet. So in reality, it has been a draining week on nearly every emotional front. On the one hand I revel in the prospect of new opportunities and returning my home to its previous relatively serene state. On the other hand I am unemployed, home alone, it is bitter cold outside, and I am facing the onset of seasonal affected disorder. All that being said, it is no wonder my training is taking a hit.
Okay, enough of the pity party. I did get in a good 70 minute cycling workout New Year's Eve, and a great 90 minute upper body workout starting at 9:30 last night. Yes, it was rather late in the day to start a workout, but I was feeling blue and weepy, and it's not like I am on a schedule right now.
Speaking of schedules, that is where I will need to focus, starting Monday. I need to realign my training schedule. For the last... well, seemingly forever... my work life has dictated my training schedule. I had to be up at a specific time to get out the door, gym and swim bags packed the night before, and training was regulated by what time I got off work. Now I have no base schedule to work around and I feel lost and adrift. I am a creature of compulsive habit and routine, and that has all been tossed out the window. In order to get my training back on track I need to rebuild a schedule for my life or I will flounder and get nothing done. That would be tragic, and depressing. Not to mention a spectacular waste of a golden opportunity. I could make excuses, like, "but it has only been two days since leaving my job behind," or "but it is the holidays, everyone gets to slack off and be lazy." No excuses. No fucking excuses.
I do not make New Year's Resolutions, but this I resolve: Get my ass in gear, devise a schedule for training and life in general, and make 2015 as productive on every level as I possibly can. Sink or swim, now is the time.
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