Resetting Goals

    *pulling self up by bootstraps*   Yesterday's walk/run was a bit depressing. Okay, it was a real letdown. I hate the idea that I am likely never going to be a runner again. Funny thing, 6 years ago I would not have considered this to be an issue. 6 years ago I never really gave running much of a thought. It is interesting to think that in the course of just a short time I began to think of running as an integral part of my life. in 2012 I entered 10 running events (including my first trail race), and 3 sprint triathlons. The following year I entered 15 running races, including 2 trail half-marathons, a 10 mile road race, and an Olympic and a half-Iron triathlon. In 2014 I didn't enter many races, but my running mileage had increased exponentially because I was prepping for an Iron distance tri. Then last year, my first race of the season and I was on the injured list. Benched for the season. I haven't quite managed to get off that bench. It has been tough on my ego and sense of self. I feel like I should be able to "tough it out."  That's not happening.
     Yesterday's run was pivotal. It let me know that it is likely I will not be a runner. Ever again. Running in and of itself isn't what is troubling me, it is the triathlete in me that is screaming,  "NOOoooooo!!!" I don't know where this leaves me in my dream to get some Iron distance events under my belt. I don't know if power-walking an event is really an option. Yeah, I know plenty of people end up walking the run leg of a triathlon, but it isn't by choice. Can I train myself to walk at a quick enough pace to make it a viable option? Can I get my swim and bike speed up enough that I can make up enough time that walking the run leg will still get me across the line before the cut-off? Honestly, I don't know.
    One thing that yesterday's run did was trigger my stubborn nature. I don't want to give up on my dreams so easily. I refuse to give up on my dreams so easily. So now I shift my focus. I haven't been able to run at all, but I can walk almost daily, g'damn it. Also, I can push my bike and swim training, increase strength training, alter my approach, again.
    To shore up my flagging spirits I did get registered for the Hagg Lake Swim Series. One entry fee lets me swim all three distances if I choose: 4000m, 2000m, and 800m. My main goal is the 4000m swim. I need that distance to be officially in the books to be able to enter the Portland Bridge Swim (probably not this year, I let my training flag a bit due to respiratory problems). I may swim the 2000m as well, just to push myself. I will see how I feel the morning of the event. I admit, the idea of this scares me just a little, which is just what I need, I think.