Pre-Race Anxiety

    Gads, life has been so busy I barely have time to eat, much less sit down and write. Today I have been having some serious anxiety about my ability to finish the bike leg of my impending race before the time cutoff of 7pm. It has been a niggling concern since the moment I knew of the time limit. I actually emailed the event coordinator, expressing my concerns. "Oh, don't worry, no one has missed the cutoff." Gee, no pressure there. There is always a first. Along the way I have told myself that all I can do is ride my best, and if I don't make it, it won't be from lack of trying.
    But today, for some reason, I have been feeling the stress. It has raised it's ugly head and glared at me with red, beady eyes. It has taken me nearly all day to calm my fears. I remind myself that I can swim the distance, bike the distance, and run the distance. I know I can. Last saturday I rode 101 miles and my legs felt great. Okay, my hands and feet were aching by hour 6, but pain and discomfort are just part of the game. I know that I have trained as hard as I can without crossing the line into potential damage. I have trained to the edge of what my poor joints can withstand if I am to get to the start line healthy and whole. I am training more than 20 hours a week at this point, with saturday being a nearly all day affair as I cycle for hours and hours. I know the actual day of the race I will push myself harder than I have in training, that is to be expected. I have trained. I have made nutrition truly the Fourth Discipline. The only area that I have not been as diligent in is sleep, I am always just a little sleep deprived. I am at the slimmest and fittest I have been in my adult life.
    So here is where my head is now: All I can do on race day is to race to the best of my ability at any given moment. There will be good moments and bad moments, and all anyone can do is take each moment and make the best of it. If I don't make the bike cutoff, there is always next year. Yes, I would be disappointed, but this really has been far more about the journey, physical and mental, than about the actual destination. I love the training that I do, enjoy finding my boundaries and pushing against them. I have done the best I can to train my body to Swim Smart, Bike Strong, and Run Tough. Just over a month and I will toe the line and truly test my mettle.